The Twinkie Crisis
by trytofindme
Summary: What happens when they stop producing the humble twinkie.


Just when she thought that it could not get any worse today it had.

She stepped out this morning to a flat tyre that she had to change before she could leave home so she was late for the day.

Then came the news when she checked on her news feed updates after she had arrived at work. It made her heart stop. In electronic black and white there would be no more twinkies made. Other products made by the same firm were to be discontinued as well. The humble twinkie was no more, once supplies were finished. Tears started to glisten in her eyes.

"Kensi, are you ok?" Deeks asked as he noticed the small look of distress on her face.

"I will be fine," Kensi stoically said as she tried to compose herself and failing miserably. Deeks opened up one of the drawers on his desk and pulled out a goodie then moved over to her desk to give it to her.

"You're giving her what?" Sam asked as him and Callen shared a look.

"A twinkie, and I have already called a few of my supplier friends and gotten a supply to last for about five weeks," Deeks stated as Kensi whimpered over one of her favourite snacks.

"Why?" Callen asked wondering about the stupidity of the situation.

"The maker of twinkies has filed for bankruptcy, I think this news is slightly distressing to Kensi. We will have to find replacement options for her," Deeks looked at the two senior members of the team. "Fern, we will get through this together."

"No more twinkies," was the pitiful reply before the lone female agent raced to the toilets to cry a little more in private.

"Once Deeks' back up supply runs out," Callen called out behind her.

"I have a friend that works at a bakery and I have already asked him to create 'the fern' which will be something similar to a twinkie," Deeks announced his plan of attack.

"'The fern' named after Kensi obviously," Sam concluded.

"She will have a hard job of tasting and critiquing till we have come up with a replacement for the humble twinkie," Deeks confirmed.

"That sounds like an excellent plan, give Kensi more sugar," Sam pointed out.

"She is mean when she doesn't have enough sugar. I had to do something since I am her partner, I am the one that will be on the receiving end if she doesn't get enough and I don't really want more bruises."

"They still make peanut butter cups, butter fingers, donuts, chocolate bars, cupcakes. All this over a twinkie?" Callen asked.

"It's not just twinkies, it's the whole Hostess range, twinkies, ding dongs, ho hos, yodels, suzy q's, butterscotch and chocolate zingers, yankee doodles. I am grateful that Little Debbies are still there but she doesn't like them as much. It won't be the same as finding the twinkie wrappers in odd places," Deeks reminisced.

"No it won't," the senior agents confirmed.

* * *

Four Weeks Later

.

"How's the supply going?" Callen asked from his desk as Deeks checked his drawer with a worried look on his face.

"The supply will be gone in another few days and the bad news is she hasn't been blown away by any of 'the fern's that have been created for her. I have tried some of them and they are close to the twinkie recipe but she is not happy," Deeks explained. "I think some of it is psychological, you know, the opening of the twinkie pack and the rustle of the plastic."

"It could be. Has she taken to anything else?" Callen added.

"Besides hitting me more? Not really anything else for the past four weeks but full stage twinkie withdrawal is going to be awful in a few days."

"Better you than me and Sam," The smirk on his face said it all.

"Ha ha, you sit beside her, you will feel it."

"Callen will feel what Deeks?" Sam asked as he strolled in for the morning.

"The twinkie withdrawal," Callen and Deeks answered.

"I take it there has been no good news on that front then," Sam slid into his chair and pulled out his computer.

"That would be a no."

"What else can I do? I have a baker friend working on a replacement and she has to taste test all his new creations on it like three times a week. Even I didn't think that the downfall of Kensi was linked to the ending of twinkies," Deeks stated as he looked at both the senior agents.

"Deeks, I have made an executive decision to keep me medically safe," Callen announced as the smirk reappeared on his face. "We are swapping desks."

"What? No. Nuh ah. Not going to happen," Sam stated, "I am not sitting beside you."

"That's fine Sam. You will be sitting beside Kensi, helping her through this difficult time of sugar withdrawal," Callen looked at his partner. "You're the one that can help her."

"It's supposed to be us against him," Sam pointed out.

"If Deeks wasn't already in hell trying to sort a twinkie replacement I would consider it," Callen stated, "and we have to make sure he stays living otherwise we will have another problem."

"Kensi hates breaking in new partners," Sam muttered.

"Exactly," Callen smiled at his partner, grateful he was understanding the issue.

"On the brightside, I have a trip to the bakery for more trial 'the fern' today and I am really hoping that this is it," Deeks added, "since I'm on lunch duty."

"Deeks pizza, tacos, or shrimp curry," Sam told him.

"Pies but that's because the bakery does pies," Deeks informed him, "I will get several different ones, they do a mean lamb and red wine."

* * *

One Week after that

.

The senior agents came back from the gym only to find the junior pair in each others arms in the bullpen. Kensi's shoulders were shaking, her face buried in the chest infront of her and Deeks was rubbing her back. Callen and Sam walked into the bullpen cautiously.

"What going on?" Callen asked. Kensi pushed her way out of Deeks arms and stood before Callen and Sam.

"Please tell me you have a twinkie for me." The pitiful voice of the female agent shocked him.

"Kens, I ran out two days ago."

"Sam, twinkie?" even more pitiful than before.

"I don't have any Kensi, do you want me to get you a donut instead?" Sam offered.

"Has Deeks." Callen started only to be cut off.

"There is no more twinkie for me," came a horrible wail.

"Kens, shhh, I'm just waiting to hear from a supplier friend if he has any left," Deeks enfolded her in his arms again, trying to calm her. "Sam, do you know the donut store 5850 W 3rd St, La Brea nearly opposite the fire station? Can you go in there and tell them that Marty needs the donut monster. And it's cash only."

"The donut monster?" Callen looks at him. "Better make it multiple donut monsters Sam, I think we will need it and get us some donuts as well."

"I want a twinkie," came the muffled voice as Sam left for the donuts.

"I know but they are not making twinkies anymore," Deeks explained as his phone went off. Checking it before he raised the answered phone to his ear "Deeks, tell me you have good news?"

"Kensi, come here," Callen took over comforting Kensi while Deeks dealt with his call.

"I will take them. That sound in the background is my coworker, she is having a twinkie crisis as they are. I have cash I will be there soon." Deeks hung up the phone and turned to Callen and Kensi, "I have to meet a contact I will be back in about an hour, Sam should be back in about twenty minutes."

"Is this for twinkies?" Kensi got out.

"Ho hoes and butterscotch zingers, he is still looking for the twinkies that are supposed to be in the order that he has just received," Deeks answered as he felt for his keys and wallet.

"Is she asleep?" Callen asked quietly.

"Yeah," was the soft spoken reply as Deeks covered her with a blanket before moving back to the desks away from the couch.

"I can't believe that she cried herself to sleep over twinkies," Sam told them.

"Doesn't surprise me, you would find the little packets everywhere in her car."

"I'm just glad you managed to get the ones that you did," Callen announced. "Let's face it, what's going to happen when this lot run out?"

"There is nothing we can do, my contact got the last of them he could, I can only hope now that some company buys the rights and starts producing them again," Deeks admitted as all three men kept an eye on the sleeping female.

"Your baker friend come through on the fern?" Sam asked.

"Yep, tastes exactly like a twinkie just no rustling of the plastic. Now it is all about the plastic, he is getting a little plastic machine for her need to open the packet," Deeks confirmed, "but it isn't due to arrive for about a week."

"So we are close?" Callen confirmed.

"So close that he had other people doing the taste testing for 'the fern' that were twinkie addicts like Kensi, that help make the decision to get the plastic machine, as they all want them. Bit of a bonus for him," Deeks smiled. "And he is going to do a double chocolate version, starting in about a month or two."

"That would be really good for her," Callen stated.

"Only problem is that my baker friend will only be producing 'the fern' on certain days till he sees how it sells, and if it doesn't sell it will probably only be done in small order batches for me," Deeks added.

"Gentlemen, I believe there is paperwork on your desk that needs completing," Hetty snuck up behind the men as they kept an eye on Kensi.

"Yes."

"On it."

"Sure."

"Miss Blye will be fine eventually, Mr Deeks," Hetty reminded. "As long as there is still candy available to her."


End file.
